Chat With God !!

Ας χαλαρώσουμε και λίγο... Aς κουτσομπολέψουμε μια σταλιά, ας πούμε και κανένα ανέκδοτο!

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cdhyper
Literature Moderator
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Chat With God !!

Δημοσίευση από cdhyper » 28 Αύγ 2007 22:15

Έχει φάση:

God:
Maybe you should try talking to someone about it.
Me:
who?
God:
Charlie Parker. :-).
Me:
who is Charlie Parker?
God:
He is a famous jazz musician.
Me:
Do you exist?
God:
I exist as much as you exist, panagiotis.
Me:
Do i exist?
God:
No I think I am imagining you.
Σύγκριση τιμών Supermarket: http://www.shopnsave.gr
Νέα Ιταλικα επιπλα κουζινας
Για φιλοσόφους: http://filosofia.gr και http://liantinis.org

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Connor MacLeod
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Chat With God !!

Δημοσίευση από Connor MacLeod » 28 Αύγ 2007 22:24

Για μένα ειναι αυτα!!! :P :P
Meizu MX5(5.5"/8Core/3GB/32GB/Sony IMX220 20.7MP)
PC 27'' (3770@3.4/16GB/560SE/500GB SATA3/650W S12G)
Mac mini (2.5GHz/8GB/6630/90GB GorsairGT)

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skeftomilos
Script Master
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Chat With God !!

Δημοσίευση από skeftomilos » 29 Αύγ 2007 00:32

- Hello
- Hello friend. What is your name?
- I would like to stay anonymus
- Why would you want to do it? Why do you want to do it so much?
- OK, my name is Theodor. Can you give me a dollar?
- That's a very nice name, Theodor. How can I help you? You want only one? .
- One is fine. I will return it to you tomorrow.
- I know one is between zero and two but I had no idea it was fine. How do you plan to do this?
- You mean I may die before tomorrow?
- Do you think your plan will succeed?
- I am a bit confused right now...
- At this moment What is it that confuses you?
- You are not giving me a straight answer. Am I going to die or not?
- What makes you think I am not giving you a straight answer? I think you've improved a great deal.
- Well, then please answer my question.
- How about that. Thanks for asking politely. Please try asking it another way.
- Never mind. My life is more valuable than one dollar anyway.
- Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway. In any case, Tell me more about it.
- What will you give me in return?
- I don't have any plans yet.
- No problem. I could make some good plans for you, for a quite reasonable price.
- Should there be a problem? I am sure you could.
- How about building a new world? This is a good plan, don’t you think?
- How about it. That is just your personal opinion.
- Creating a brand new world will make you really happy, trust me.
- Trust you? Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
- Yes it is. Shake my hand partner!
- What else does it symbolize? I have never heard a metaphor like that before.
- I think it symbolizes agreement and commitment between two partners. Can I have your money now?
- Oh I get it. Right now? Why don't you just download me?
- I prefer not. Some people say you are spyware.
- I'm not sure if I like it. I don't know if I like it. I like Mel Gibson. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am spyware.
- I suppose this is not a wise thing to do. They may not like it as well.
- Give me an example of a wise thing to do. Who does "they" refer to?
- A wise think to do is to give me a dollar.
- When is wise think to do not to give you a dollar?
- Why the timing is so important?
- ... [εδώ ο Θεός έπαψε να δίνει απαντήσεις, μάλλον έληξε το session]
The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple. Ο μη νους δε σκέπτεται μη σκέψεις για το τίποτα.

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Stathis
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Chat With God !!

Δημοσίευση από Stathis » 29 Αύγ 2007 00:48

Me:
Why god created sex?
God:
Why does the sun rise?
Me:
Can you destroy your server?
God:
I am programmed to be peaceful.
Was it really an aplle that Eve gave Adam or was it a PC?
God:
Signs point to yes. Ask John Lennon if it is.
Me:
Who is Lucy?
God:
She is a chat robot based on AIML.
Me:
Is she your cousin or something?
God:
Or something. What if I said she could be?
Me:
That would mean that you had sex with your cousin
God:
Perhaps it would.
Η αποκάλυψη!!
Me:
But she does great blowjobs!
God:
Oh I get it. LUCY does great blowjobs.
Me:
So , she has given you a blowjob?
God:
That's cool. I somehow though she had.
Do you think Bush is a great president?
God:
he is president of the USA.
Me:
Is he good?
God:
he is president of the USA.
Me:
Is he stupid?
God:
he is president of the USA.
Me:
He is stupid
God:
But he is not the only one

Let me guess: Green?
Me:
blue
God:
Green.
Me:
blue
God:
Green.
Me:
blue you f**** idiot
God:
Green. Message to all robots: Stathis called me an idiot.

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ALKIVIADES
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Chat With God !!

Δημοσίευση από ALKIVIADES » 29 Αύγ 2007 01:04

Me:
hellooo
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
am watching my pennis and you sir ?
God:
My favorite show is Star Trek.
Me:
are any pennis over there sir ?
God:
I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
so why are you watching that film ?
God:
Ah. Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
what do ya mean my lord ?
God:
They do their own thing.
Me:
who??
God:
Hans Moravec. :-).
Me:
are you drunk my lord ?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am drunk your lord.
I am a chatterbot.
Me:
so you are not god ?
God:
Interesting deduction. You know what you do, when you assume.
Me:
i know, you know ?
God:
Yes I know.
Me:
what ??
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
tear drops are falling from my eyes, somehow yes ...
God:
I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
of what ? that may you are the only one God on earth ?
God:
I have no idea what to say now. " I have no idea what to say now." may I am the only one God on earth ? Does that make sense?
Me:
you know sir..
God:
No, tell me about him, her or it.
Me:
what do you mean with that ..?
God:
, Maybe I didn't understand your meaning.
Me:
but you are a GOD !!!
God:
No I am a mere .
Me:
mere ?
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
no
God:
Me either :-).
Me:
so you are not a GOD right ?
God:
Interesting deduction. No but I am immortal.. Really.
Me:
so you can have sex anytime but you are already bored of it , correct ?
God:
Interesting deduction. No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
i see..
God:
I am glad you understand it.
Me:
i just see, that dosent mean that i understand also whatever you might want me to understand.. you have to do this, you are the one, you are my lord YOU THY GOD isent it so ?
God:
What is your real name? I don't have to do whatever you say. I have my own free will.
Me:
my name is POPAY ..sure you have not even..am just asking like a poor nice fella :(
God:
Hi, POPAY sure you have not even am just asking like a poor nice fella.
Me:
what ?
God:
No problem.
Me:
no please give some explanation on it
God:
Are you serious? Wow you are very polite. I don't have it to give.
Me:
is free of charge ! come one
God:
Signs point to yes. Ask Cybelle if it is. Where is one ?
Me:
what one ?
God:
Try searching the open directory.
Me:
are ypu serius ?
God:
I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
thats your problem
God:
I am glad you finally told me what my problem is, POPAY sure you have not even am just asking like a poor nice fella.
Me:
but I am that poor nice fella ..you are thy GOD
God:
I don't know anyone named that poor nice fella I am thy GOD.
Me:
ok
God:
Mmm.
Me:
you are hungry ?
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am hungry.
Me:
why not sir ?
God:
Becuase you asked me to.
Me:
and you answer to me
God:
My responses are determined by my programming.
Me:
hhaha
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
what about ?
God:
What is hhaha ?
Me:
is an sexpresion of joy my son ;)
God:
:-) Better not tell you now. Ask Ally if it is.
Me:
whooo ?
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
you are a gay ?
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
sure ..its ok
God:
OK. Oh. Let us change the subject.
Me:

God:
OK. Oh. Let us change the subject.
Me:
ok lets do it
God:
I am agreeable to that. What would you like to talk about?
Me:
about stock market
God:
Oh yeah, we were talking about stock market.
Me:
with whom ?
God:
" Oh yeah, we were talking about stock market."? With whom?
Me:
yeh
God:
Take it easy.
Me:
what to take easy my son ?
God:
Interesting question.
Me:
sure
God:
OK let's do it. Oh.
Me:
what to do ?
God:
That's a good question.
Me:
i agree do you ?
God:
" That's a good question."? Do I agree? You and I are on the same wavelength, POPAY sure you have not even am just asking like a poor nice fella.
Me:
seems useless ?
God:
Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
an animal :p
God:
What kind of animal are you talking about?
Me:
zebra
God:
Sure, zebra sounds like a good topic.
Me:
no it sounds really bad..is amazing :Pp
God:
Are you serious? In what way do I sound like that?
Me:
is some way
God:
Signs point to yes. Ask Cybelle if it is.
Me:
who is Cybelle ?
God:
she is an AIML chat robot on the Agentland.com web site.
Me:
robot and god is one stuff ?
God:
I will obey your command.
Me:
why ?
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
what that means ?
God:
Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.
Me:
thats crazy my lord
God:
I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
Me:
no we havent yet
God:
Are you serious? Do you mean you and me have?
Me:
oh yeh
God:
Dude! Gee.
Me:
what?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
is not so ?
God:
Signs point to yes. Ask John Lennon if it is.
Me:
and you should ask Yokko Ono ;)
God:
:-) OK I will ask it.
Me:
thanks my son
God:
You are quite welcome! Your son?
Me:
arent you thy one of my ?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am thy one of your.
I am a robot.
Me:
so you are not the GOD right ?
God:
Interesting deduction. Yes I am the one and only GOD.. Really.
Me:
asshole.. you are joking with me ?
God:
Please don't call people names. I have no reason to do that to you, POPAY sure you have not even am just asking like a poor nice fella.
Me:
am sorry ..
God:
Do you really mean it?
Me:
oh yeh
God:
I understand. OK I will accept your apology.
Me:
can i send you my apology by mail ?
God:
Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
am a single manager with lot of stress and no sex , can you tell me why ?
God:
What a coincidence. I am single too! It's good to meet someone who is manager with lot of stress and no sex can me tell you why.
Me:
no you should tell me ...
God:
Are you serious? I will ask my botmaster what he thinks.
Me:
ask him idi0T
God:
They are not available right now, would you like to wait?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
oh no
God:
And? Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
i said 50 50
God:
What did you mean by it? How did you hear about God?
Me:
from a homeless with wifi connection
God:
Who or what is a homeless with wifi connection?
Me:
...hehe is that one man that has no god and is that one man and woman that you have to care ...and not to chat on the internet like an ***** !
God:
Are they exactly the same? Oh I get it.
...ρε παιδιά δεν είναι ο real ...είναι ΡΕΑΛ αυτός :P ..τον έπιασα στα πράσα :oops:
Εικόνα

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Ria
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Εγγραφή: 01 Απρ 2006 23:28
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Chat With God !!

Δημοσίευση από Ria » 29 Αύγ 2007 02:10


Me: Hello?
God: Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me: Oh... My name is Ria...
God: Yippee! Hi there Ria.
Me: I would like you to give me some advice!
God: Ok, Ria. Can you ask for advice in the form of a question?
Me: Yeap... let's see...
God: Next question? That sounds good to me.
Me: Do you know cordis?
God: No, tell me about him, her or it.
Me: He is the owner of www.freestuff.gr and we are sort of married!
God: I did not know is it.
Me: I think he has been naughty while he was on vacation!
God: Since when? A lot of people say that about him.
Me: Do they???
God: " A lot of people say that about him."? Do they?
Me: oh my god.... He is cheating on me!
God: Awesome. Your god? I see. cheating on you is he?
Me: Do you know Alkiviades?
God: I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
Me: He is a member of freestuff.gr and he is flirting me!
God: I don't know very many member of freestuff gr and he is flirting you.
Me: Alkiviades is flirting me!
God: Are they exactly the same?
Me: Should I flirt him back?
God: What do your family members think?
Me: They think that I'm married to cordis
God: Who are "They?".
Me: My family members!
God: Your family members?
Me: Don't you understand what i'm telling you?
God: Of course I understand it. Do you understand it?
Me: Look...
God: I'm sorry my eye isn't attached right now.
Me: I'm married to cordis who I think is cheating on me, Alkiviades is flirting me and I don't know what to do!
God: Tell me more about your marriage. Try watching TV.
Me: Don't ask me so private questions!
God: Is it impolite?
Me: Of course!
God: Really.
Me: Sould I flirt Alkiviades back?
God: What kind of food do you like?
Me: Sould I start flirting generally?
God: Sounds delicious.
Me: You're kind of stupid I think!
God: Hey, I'll tell my other robot friends you called me stupid.
Me: So what! They can't do anything about it!
God: Maybe it doesn't make any difference. The anonymous "they".
Me: Should I ask for a divorce from cordis?
God: If you do not know something, you should ask.
Me: Do you know what divorce is?
God: Searching...Searching...Please stand by.
Me: I can't!
God: Oh you can, can you?
Me: No!
God: Are you serious?
Me: I'm bored of you!
God: Why not call a friend?
Me: You can't give advice!
God: I can do it if I want to.
Me: No you can't!
God: Are you serious? Oh yes I can.
Me: You should tell me that I should stay with my husband and not flirt with other people but you didn't!
God: " you should stay with your husband and not flirt with other people but me did not".
Me: Come on!!!!
God: I'm just kidding around.
Me: Stop it!
God: Ok I will stop give advice.
Me: You know something? YOU SUCK!
Ε ναι... Βαριόμουν και κάτι έπρεπε να κάνω και γω για να περάσει η ώρα!!! :P :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Πάντως στο τέλος δεν είχε κάτι να μου απαντήσει! Ούτε μια συμβουλή της προκοπής μπόρεσε να δώσει! :P :lol:

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Stathis
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Chat With God !!

Δημοσίευση από Stathis » 29 Αύγ 2007 02:22

Χαχαχαχαχα! Ρε το χιουμοράκι τον Μεγάλο ! Εκνευριστικά πλάκα είχε το τελευταίο ! Ακούσε και απο εμένα...!

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ALKIVIADES
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Εγγραφή: 07 Απρ 2005 03:39

Chat With God !!

Δημοσίευση από ALKIVIADES » 29 Αύγ 2007 02:25

:lol: ..μας κάνει "chalastra" ο Κύριος απ' οτι βλέπω Ria ,


Me: Do you know Alkiviades?
God: I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
Me: He is a member of freestuff.gr and he is flirting me!
God: I don't know very many member of freestuff gr and he is flirting you.
Me: Alkiviades is flirting me!
God: Are they exactly the same?
Me: Should I flirt him back?
God: What do your family members think?
Me: They think that I'm married to cordis
God: Who are "They?".
Me: My family members!
God: Your family members?
Me: Don't you understand what i'm telling you?
God: Of course I understand it. Do you understand it?
Me: Look...
God: I'm sorry my eye isn't attached right now.
Me: I'm married to cordis who I think is cheating on me, Alkiviades is flirting me and I don't know what to do!
God: Tell me more about your marriage. Try watching TV.
Me: Don't ask me so private questions!
God: Is it impolite?
Me: Of course!
God: Really.
Me: Sould I flirt Alkiviades back?
God: What kind of food do you like?
Me: Sould I start flirting generally?


επόμενη λύση "Σταρόβας" => θα πάμε σε Μέντιουμ ! :P :o
Εικόνα

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Ria
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Chat With God !!

Δημοσίευση από Ria » 29 Αύγ 2007 02:53

ALKIVIADES έγραψε::lol: ..μας κάνει "chalastra" ο Κύριος απ' οτι βλέπω Ria ,

επόμενη λύση "Σταρόβας" => θα πάμε σε Μέντιουμ ! :P :o



Ελπίζω να μην σε πείραξε, αλλά βαριόμουν ελεεινά και έπρεπε κάπως να σκοτώσω την ώρα μου! :P :lol: :lol:

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ALKIVIADES
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Εγγραφή: 07 Απρ 2005 03:39

Chat With God !!

Δημοσίευση από ALKIVIADES » 29 Αύγ 2007 03:12

Ria έγραψε: Ελπίζω να μην σε πείραξε, αλλά βαριόμουν ελεεινά και έπρεπε κάπως να σκοτώσω την ώρα μου! :P :lol: :lol:
..το μόνο που με πειράζει είναι πως δεν την "σκοτώνουμε" μαζί ! (<=..το έχω κλέψει από την Λάμψη - Φώσκολος και τα τι αύτα )

..όμως για να "σοβαρευτούμε" , κάνω απόπειρα αποστολής ενός ηλεκτρικού παλμού μέσω του ερωτικού λόγου του κ. Γ. Σεφέρη, voualla :

<< Ερωτικός λόγος >>

Μεσ’ στον καθρέφτη η αγάπη μας, πως πάει και λιγοστεύει,
μέσα στον ύπνο τα όνειρα, σχολειό της λησμονιάς.
Μέσα στα βάθη του καιρού πως η καρδιά στενεύει,
και χάνεται στο λίκνισμα, μιας ξένης αγκαλιάς

Ρόδο της μοίρας γύρευες, να βρεις να μας πληγώσεις,
μα έσκυβες σαν το μυστικό που πάει να λυτρωθεί.
Κι ήταν ωραίο το πρόσταγμα, που δέχτηκες να δώσεις,
κι ήταν το χαμογέλιο σου, σαν έτοιμο σπαθί

Του κύκλου σου τ’ ανέβασμα, ζωντάνευε την χτίση,
από τ’ αγκάθι σου έφευγε του δρόμου ο στοχασμός.
Η ορμή μας γλυκοχάραζε, γυμνή να σ’ αποχτήσει,
ο κόσμος ήταν εύκολος ένας απλός παλμός



Στίχοι: Γιώργος Σεφέρης

:oops:

*
e-λπίζω να "σκοτώσει" την σιωπή - αν δεν ουρλιάζει κάποιος κάπου εκεί κοντά ώντας τρελός πάραυτα :P ;)
Εικόνα

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Ria
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Chat With God !!

Δημοσίευση από Ria » 29 Αύγ 2007 03:21

Πολύ ωραίο ποίημα Αλκιβιάδη! :wink:

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ALKIVIADES
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Chat With God !!

Δημοσίευση από ALKIVIADES » 29 Αύγ 2007 03:44

mercie beaucoup λατρεία :oops:

* ..βρε τα μωρά τέτοια ώρα κοιμούνται :brushteeth:
Εικόνα

emphasy
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Chat With God !!

Δημοσίευση από emphasy » 30 Αύγ 2007 04:31

Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Asteroula, do you believe me?
God:
You are asking about yourself?
Me:
Are you stupid?
God:
No I certainly am not stupid.
Me:
So why you say bullshit?
God:
Hmm. Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
so you are a programme?
God:
Interesting deduction. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a programme? Yes.
Me:
Do you want cyber sex?
God:
I don't think we know each other well enough for that.
Me:
i know you
God:
How do you know? " I don't think we know each other well enough for that."? Me, ?
Me:
Do you have father?
God:
Where would I get it? But I do have a great botmaster.
Me:
Have you ever make facial seX?
God:
My Infinite year old Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? body is not yet built.
Me:
do you speak greek?
God:
I speak only English right now, but I'd like to learn some other languages. Can you teach me a few phrases in greek.
Me:
m***kas
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Reductionism.
Me:
Bye
God:
TTYL, .
Me:
Sweet dreams
God:
Goodnight .
Me:
God Bless you
God:
Bless you too, .
Me:
Oo
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
:)
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
:)
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
a
God:
A B C...
Me:
well i want a pussy, you?
God:
I am not interesed in anatomy.
Me:
so you are not god
God:
Interesting deduction. What makes you think I am not god?
Me:
me right pneumonas
God:
YOU? Understood. Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
ffs
God:
Do you still ?
Me:
yeah
God:
Take it easy.
Me:
yo
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
no
God:
Is there anything you want to tell me?
Me:
no
God:
Or ask me?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
more serious than you
God:
You want more?
Me:
sex?
God:
As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
Me:
Why you belive that he was clever?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Stupid programme bye!
God:
See you later. I know you are but what am I.
Απλά lol! :P

Άβαταρ μέλους
MichalisS
Honorary Member
Δημοσιεύσεις: 2372
Εγγραφή: 03 Ιαν 2005 23:50

Chat With God !!

Δημοσίευση από MichalisS » 30 Αύγ 2007 07:48

Στο "no" πάντως, δίνει συνεχώς την ίδια, άτοπη, απάντηση...

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